Friends . . Friendship ...A Musing

The words fall lightly on our lips . . . Friend . . . Friendship . . . Pal . . . Buddy . . . Soul mate . . . the dictionary says:  Friend 1.  a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.  2. An acquaintance.  3.  A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause, comrade.  4.One who supports, sympathizes with or patronizes a group cause, or movement.  5.  Friend.  A member of Society of Friends;  Quaker.
Add. . . Friendly: pertaining to, or befitting a friend. Favorably disposed; not antagonistic.

There you have it, my musing for today, all because I do not quite know how to understand a young woman I honestly admire.  She has made a life for herself anyone would envy.  She has a very good professional job that pays well and she is well thought of and appreciated.   She purchased a home and filled it with her own personal style, comfortable, pleasing to the eye   She has planted beautiful plants and flowers and takes time to grow vegetables in her garden boxes, along with several tomato plants.    She opens up her home and serves special holiday dinners and introduces her friends without a second thought.   She is strong, independent, loves to travel and takes herself off, by herself, to parts unknown and has a wonderful joyful time.   She never met a stranger and she should be on top of the world but . . . the proverbial but . . .  she is her own worst enemy. For one reason or another she is holding on to past hurts for which she probably has little or no responsibility;  yet, the shadows linger in her inner self and she does not allow herself to become the true woman she really can be.

Jealousy is in her makeup . . . she wants what she has but she also wants what you have.  She makes herself small by finding reasons to belittle you.  She feels queen-like but she fails in understanding what a friend really is.  She spins her wheels finding negative things about others and the way they live their lives.  For example:   You do not return a gift because it does not suit you.   You thank the giver and be glad he or she thought enough of you to want to gift you.   You keep it, store it, give it away, but return it...never;  it is like a slap in the face no matter how good she thinks her reasons are.

You do not show condescension and curiosity to another member of the persons family about their income or reasons one receives loving attention , no matter what the cause or the reason;  you mind your own business.  You don't waste your time being jealous of someone who is successful as you can look and see how that person works around the clock to be joyful and helpful to all. Envy is not something to strive for.

So how does one 'handle' a person like this?   The truth is that the answer does not lie with YOU but with the person herself or himself.    One who could be and should be a true friend.  If not in his or her makeup, I gather you just withdraw and get on with your own life.

How sad.

But, friends are the backbone of our lives.   We love them.  We enjoy them.   We are proud of their accomplishments and we urge them on to bigger and better lives.    We know we are responsible for our own happiness and it is up to each and every one of us to do our very best to make our own lives shine.    We are capable, responsible and unafraid to step up and be counted for.

There are some folks who make promises they will never keep and they know it right up front, but spin you a yarn you believe and you are left feeling a big disappointment when you are let down , excluded out of the promise, left alone and lost as to why . . . that is really a destructive behavior and one that makes you doubt yourself.  

We all have feelings and no one has the right to make you feel less of a person...no one.....

So examine You today;   check your list of YOU and see how you come out. . . are you a true friend or only a sunshine friend?   Give you a bit of thought and something to work on for this new year....be true to yourself;  be true to your friends;   you can dig a hole and put those jealous thoughts and behavior away forever and get on with your life being a wholesome and true friend to family and others who come into your life.

Honesty is the best policy but it takes a lot of courage to face a true issue and know how to handle the situation so you don't crush another person even those who don't seem to mind crushing you.  We wonder why we have problems in our personal lives. . . make a true and good examination of your own actions and deeds and see just how you measure up.    Good luck;  practice, practice, practice on how to really be a friend.
Hugs to all.